Songs I NEED Joan Jett to write

Joan Jett’s songs get me through life. Songs like “Frustrated,” “Play that Song Again,” and “Insecure” both defined and healed my adolescence. “Bad Reputation,” “I Hate Myself for Loving You,” and “Back It Up” help me give the finger to people when I don’t have the guts to do it in real life.

But Joan Jett hasn’t written about everything I will experience in my life. Yet. Here are a list of songs I could REALLY use, and I wish Joan would write them. Feel free to add your own in the comments!

1. “Born to be Nerd”

2. “I Hate Myself for Loving Twilight”

3. “Cougars Are People Too”

4. “100 Feet Away (XXX)”

5. “It’s a SHAG, Not a Mullet Motherf*cker! (Yeah Oh Yeah)”

6. “Pink Leather”

7. “Take This Job And Shove It Up Your Ass”

8. “Consumed a Box of Twinkies”

9. “You Want In, I want a Restraining Order”

10. “Everyone Knows I’m a Jetthead”

11. “Do I Want to Touch You?

12. “Don’t Go Away, I’m Really Not Crazy”

13. “Kennywood” (Because I’m from Pittsburgh, and that’s how I roll.)

14. “Lie To Me. Tell Me I Don’t Look Fat In This Dress”

15. “OCD”

16. “You Drive Me Up A Wall”

And in a few years, I’m REALLY going to need help with:

17. “American Night Sweats”

18. “Getting Hot Flashes”

19. “Have You Ever Seen My Glasses?”

20. “I’m Gonna Run Away–As Soon As I Take My Glucosamine”

~

Ah, I can see the Time Life Collection infomercial now… 😀

15 thoughts on “Songs I NEED Joan Jett to write

  1. OMG, That is some funny shit, ROFL.. How about “Little Old Girls”? “100ft. From Senility”? “Backscratch”?

  2. Paulina that is funny, next time I get to talk to Joan I’m hoping it is before a show so I can say that to her. What a classic Joan line.

  3. “5. “It’s a SHAG, Not a Mullet Motherf*cker! (Yeah Oh Yeah)””

    HAHAHAHA! Thank you – how many times a day do I have to correct people on this. A girl with long hair and bangs is not a mullet!

    Man these song titles cracked me up! Genius.

  4. haha effing epic songs! I’d totally buy that album! Anyway, how about:
    “Bad Reception” or “I Hate my job, cause I don’t get paid” or, I even wrote a spoof of “Do you wanna touch?” its based on the movie “The Uninvited.”

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