KStew and Joan Jett do not have mullets, and I can prove it

Some of you know that, in addition to being a devoted Jetthead, I also happen to be a KStew-loving, “Team Edward”-bracelet-owning Twi-hard. (I’m too embarrassed to wear that bracelet in public, but that’s beside the point.) As such, I have read many rants in the KStew/Twilight fandom both for and against Kristen’s “Joan Jett Mullet.” But every Jetthead and I know that Kristen’s haircut cannot be classified as a mullet because Joan Jett never had a mullet. Joan Jett had a shag. And now I’m going to waste several hours proving it for people who don’t care. Because that’s how I roll.

I don’t comment about this on my favorite Twilight/KStew sites out of respect for the fans, because I don’t want anyone to think that I’m posing as a Twi-hard to sell Joan Jett crap to a new audience. Trust me, if I weren’t butt-crazy in love with Twilight, Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and all the stuff that goes with them, I wouldn’t give any of them the time of day. My diehard gene is pure. So, I am posting my rant about this on my own site in the hopes that someone, someday, will Google this shit and finally learn the truth. I almost hate to post this here, because I don’t want the five Jettheads that read this blog to think I’m using it to promote Twilight either. But backlash be damned! I can no longer be silent.

I repeat: Kristen Stewart and Joan Jett do not have mullets. I’m going to help take the emotion out of this heated debate and wow you with my nerdy-ass logic at the same time by breaking this down “Geometry Proof” style.

Follow my nerdy-ass logic after the jump.

GIVEN: Kristen Stewart cut her hair to mimic Joan Jett for The Runaways movie.
PROVE: Kristen Stewart does not have a mullet.

 

Statements

Reasons

1) In a mullet haircut, the top and sides are short and the back is long. The back is significantly longer than the front. 1) Definition of a mullet.

Mulletman

2) A shag haircut has gradual layers. 2) Definition of a shag haircut.

shaggy_98540_25864

3) Joan Jett had a shag haircut. 3) Joan Jett’s hair had gradual layers, the definition of a shag.joan_70s
4) Joan Jett did not have a mullet. 4a) Joan Jett had a shag haircut.
4b) Searching for Joan Jett’s name at mulletmadness.com yields NO search results.
5) Kristen Stewart plays Joan Jett in The Runaways, and cut her hair to look like Joan. 5) Given.
6) Kristen Stewart has a shag haircut. 6) Kristen’s hair matches Joan Jett’s hair, which is a shag.
7) Therefore, Kristen Stewart does not have a mullet. 7) Joan Jett did not have a mullet.

End of Proof.

No, I will not be getting a life anytime soon. 😀

(Thanks to Jettrocker, whose tweet gave me the idea for this post.)

10 thoughts on “KStew and Joan Jett do not have mullets, and I can prove it

  1. Thanks for clarifying this one, it was really pissing me off!!!!!!!!!!!! Being a Hairstylist I don’t use the term “mullet” lightly and Joan in NO way EVER had one!

  2. I love this! I agree, Joan didn’t have a mullet. And, I actually love Kristen’s hair. I did crazy stuff with my hair when I was a teenager. That’s when you do that kinda stuff. I think Kris totally embraces the shag. *winks*

    There’s been similar arguments that David Bowie during his Ziggy Stardust faze did not sport a mullet either. I think that ruling was that he was simply too fabulous to have his hair deemed such a lowbrow style. lol. I agree in that case as well. Then again, if you look at my name, I’m slightly biased.

  3. A few years ago I had a girlfriend who referred to “groovy mullets.” I was a few years older and baulked at the idea that a mullet could ever be “groovy.” I realise now that the grooviness she referred to, and she and her princess-rich LUGgy friends had their hair cut in the style of, was a shag.
    Thanks for fighting the good fight….!

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