Some of you know that, in addition to being a devoted Jetthead, I also happen to be a KStew-loving, “Team Edward”-bracelet-owning Twi-hard. (I’m too embarrassed to wear that bracelet in public, but that’s beside the point.) As such, I have read many rants in the KStew/Twilight fandom both for and against Kristen’s “Joan Jett Mullet.” But every Jetthead and I know that Kristen’s haircut cannot be classified as a mullet because Joan Jett never had a mullet. Joan Jett had a shag. And now I’m going to waste several hours proving it for people who don’t care. Because that’s how I roll.
I don’t comment about this on my favorite Twilight/KStew sites out of respect for the fans, because I don’t want anyone to think that I’m posing as a Twi-hard to sell Joan Jett crap to a new audience. Trust me, if I weren’t butt-crazy in love with Twilight, Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and all the stuff that goes with them, I wouldn’t give any of them the time of day. My diehard gene is pure. So, I am posting my rant about this on my own site in the hopes that someone, someday, will Google this shit and finally learn the truth. I almost hate to post this here, because I don’t want the five Jettheads that read this blog to think I’m using it to promote Twilight either. But backlash be damned! I can no longer be silent.
I repeat: Kristen Stewart and Joan Jett do not have mullets. I’m going to help take the emotion out of this heated debate and wow you with my nerdy-ass logic at the same time by breaking this down “Geometry Proof” style.
Follow my nerdy-ass logic after the jump.
GIVEN: Kristen Stewart cut her hair to mimic Joan Jett for The Runaways movie.
PROVE: Kristen Stewart does not have a mullet.
|1) In a mullet haircut, the top and sides are short and the back is long. The back is significantly longer than the front.||1) Definition of a mullet.|
|2) A shag haircut has gradual layers.||2) Definition of a shag haircut.|
|3) Joan Jett had a shag haircut.||3) Joan Jett’s hair had gradual layers, the definition of a shag.|
|4) Joan Jett did not have a mullet.||4a) Joan Jett had a shag haircut.
4b) Searching for Joan Jett’s name at mulletmadness.com yields NO search results.
|5) Kristen Stewart plays Joan Jett in The Runaways, and cut her hair to look like Joan.||5) Given.|
|6) Kristen Stewart has a shag haircut.||6) Kristen’s hair matches Joan Jett’s hair, which is a shag.|
|7) Therefore, Kristen Stewart does not have a mullet.||7) Joan Jett did not have a mullet.|
End of Proof.
No, I will not be getting a life anytime soon. 😀
(Thanks to Jettrocker, whose tweet gave me the idea for this post.)